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Books

The Color Tan (2024)  

A roman a clef

The Color Tan chronicles Patricia Marie Krentcil's odyssey from pale girl to beloved "Tan Mom," who is known around the world today.

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Patricia's candid, in-depth view of her time before and after becoming the world's foremost tanning celebrity will give readers her perspective as she unveils who Tan Mom really is beneath all that bronzer. The one and only Tan Mom invites her fans to take a look at her life through her eyelash extensions with this unvarnished, although at times inebriated, picture of the tannest woman to ever grace the airwaves.

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She's more than just a Wack Packer. She's more than just the embodiment of the color burnt umber. She's more than just a chart-topping musical phenom. She's more than just a reality TV star who is always at odds with pornstars. She's Tan Mom, and she's here to set the record straight, like only Tan Mom can.

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It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of good skin must be in want of a tan. In The Color Tan, Patricia gives us a raw, behind-the-scenes look--that may or may not be entirely factual--at the true cost of that SPF-free lifestyle which led to her becoming the iconic superstar she is today.

The Color Tan book cover

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A young Patricia Marie, modeling

Special Thanks!

Patricia would like to thank the following people for the success of her book:

Developmental Editing:

Elizabeth Kracht

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Transcriber:

Joseph P. Kerr, III

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Emperor of All Mediums:

Harold Sternz

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Director of Charitable Causes:

Betty Sternz

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Chief Executive Executive:

Jiminy Kimble

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Chief Executive's Executive:

Molly Kimble

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Chief Operating Operator:

Jeremy Fallon

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President of Presidenting:

Conan O'Carson

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V.P. of Vice Presidenting:

Samantha Fantastica

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Director of Serious Business:

Darren Jones

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Editor:

Banjo Bronx

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Associate Editor:

Hal Governale

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Head Publicist:

Ricardo Christy

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Formatting:

Cardinal Shivers

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Spell Checker:

Lamet Walker

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Period Placer:

Larry Dell'Amonte

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Payroll:

John Blinky

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Proofreader:

NotFred Norris

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Intellectual Property:

Lonnie the Cabbie

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Operations:

D.J. Harmeister

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Distribution:

Wolfette

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Copyright:

Curtis Wilding

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Kraft Services:

John Heiny

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Dictation:

Mack Trainor

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Cover Design:

Sven Nowicki 

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Health & Wellness:

Mark Pearlman

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Treaties & Border Disputes:

Justin Kaplan

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Lowly Writer:

Will Murphy

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Creative Liaison:

Rolph Silverado

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Iconic Janitor:

Michael Rappapoint

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© 2023 by P. Krentcil, W. Merdurer

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